A Blog for My Daughter

Words from a Mother

They announced today that Ohio schools will be closed for the remainder of the school year. As much as that makes me sad for my own sanity, it mostly breaks my heart for you.

This is your last year in preschool and weā€™re to have a graduation. You wonā€™t get to finish your last year with your friends before you split and go to different schools. Especially your bestie Remi. She is going to a different school. It just breaks my heart.

The silver lining is that you are so young I donā€™t think youā€™ll remember it in the future. I only have a few memories of kindergarten myself. But right now you will know and thatā€™s what hurts.

Youā€™ve been getting more comfortable calling friends and family on kids messenger which is good and bad. Youā€™re still working on your phone etiquette and having to remind you to put on pants to do video chatting is getting old. Lol. But I love to hear you laugh with your friends.

Tonight as I put you in bed I told you that I was going to giant eagle tomorrow and that itā€™s next to target. So if there was anything you wanted just let me know. And you started to beg me to take you with me. ā€œIā€™ll wear my mask mom. I wonā€™t touch anything. Iā€™ll stay in the cart.ā€ Breaking my heart. I explained how you are safer at home but I just wish you could come with me. I mean youā€™re begging to go grocery shopping. Seriously.

But thereā€™s also the fun times. Like today when you were so excited to show me all the dandelions growing in the yard. And digging for ants. Or finding the blue jay feather that you are in love with (like made a bed for it to sleep on your night stand and said goodnight to it, love it). The simple joys and happiness of today.

And sometimes the things you say I just canā€™t. So I tripped over your stroller for the 30th time and so I tossed it into the living room from the kitchen and sadly it broke. I was so mad at myself I broke down in tears (ask your dad). Luckily he said he could fix it and so I just didnā€™t say anything. Well this morning you brought it up the stairs and looked at me and said ā€œIā€™m, I think you have some explaining to do.ā€ For real. One, you know me so well. And two, where do you get it from?

Tonight we laid in your bed together and I sang and I just love nights like this where I can stare at you and you become sleepy. You put your little hand on my cheek and tell me you love me. The cuddles and the hugs. I seriously love the nights where I slow down and take it in like tonight. I never want to forget that.

I donā€™t know. Now Iā€™m just rambling things out of my brain to get them down. So hereā€™s a photo dump too from like the last two months…why not.