A Blog for My Daughter

Words from a Mother

So the past couple days I think I’ve finally started to feel better all around. I still have moments of frustration and exhaustion, and I have to talk myself through them. They mostly happen at 3am when I’m trying to stay awake to feed her. Or in the middle of the day when she’s fussy and I can’t figure out why. Or lately she’s been fussy when eating making it hard to get her to latch (I’m thinking growth spurt). Or the many, many times we’ve had diaper blowouts, and the large amount of laundry I’ve been doing. Or when I’m trying to do something around the house. I just remind myself that she won’t be this young forever, so enjoy it now. That it really is ok to be “lazy”.  And that I really don’t have to hold her all the time. It’s not neglect to sit on the couch while she’s in her egg for a bit to veg out.  

I’ve also been having a hard time dealing with the fact that it’s pretty much just me monday-Friday. Now let me say this is nothing against Brian, he works really hard and is amazing and is providing for his family.  He’s the reason that our family is possible and that we can provide the best for Kahlan. And I love him dearly.  I knew going into this that that would be the situation. But that doesn’t mean I don’t find it hard sometimes. 

But yeah, in the end, I think something finally clicked and I’m starting to feel good. I mean I haven’t cried lately, so that’s a good sign.